It broke my heart when I found out you had depression and had chosen to take your life. But then…who am I to say you couldn’t do that? You needed to end it all, the never ending voice of pain and misery in your head.
You opened the gate of suicide; it stood wide and stark naked. You made it real. You proved that it could be done. So I sat with it. Felt the scars that were on you…on me tighten their grips around the organ in my chest.
You must had been exhausted, wary of another dawn, and the dark night of loneliness that was your company. When I felt the same, I thought it would be so easy to go for a swim at Manly beach and let the waves take me over.
But I can’t walk through that gate. I want to recover and get well and push through. Take all I can from the light of the day.
And I want your soul to be happy.
Go now… travel because you’re free to fly.
So Chrystal… your first destination? Hawaii. I’d like you to be embraced by the spirit of Aloha - the all encompassing love between two souls. In many ways the Hawaiians remind me of you… warmth, friendly, and genuine.
Go to Lahaina at Maui. The stunning view brought tears to my eyes…well..incredible heartache too at the time… but after a while you’d forget the pain when you see an endless beach of clear sparkling water.
You’d snorkel and chase after sea turtles (god did I stalk one of them.. haha), sun bathe on fine white sand that kisses your skin as the wind blows and stroll pass the coconut trees that sway to the rhythm of native Hawaiian folk music. You’d feel nostalgic but it’s ok…the feeling will pass.
And you’d beam when a good looking Hawaiian hunk adorns your neck with a Lei. The poor guy.. will fall head over heels in love with you.
So still your mind and be happy for each moment. Turn heads while you dance to the sound of Ukulele. Then tell me all about it when we meet again.